(4/1/2015) - Fix My Streets is proud to announce that the city has finally completed a long awaited New Orleans street repair project.
In a short press conference on Wednesday, April 1st 2015, New Orleans officials were happy to write the final chapter in a long, pothole-filled, saga.
One of the busiest streets in Lakeview, the West End neighborhood has been waiting for the 2nd phase of Fleur De Lis construction to be completed for months. Ima Fauxperson, a resident of Lakeview, said "I'm amazed the repairs were started and finished so quickly. Thank goodness for that bead money!"
Fauxperson is referencing the city's historic "Beads for Streets" Mardi Gras bead recycling program, launched in late 2014. In just a few short months, New Orleans officials sold all of the leftover Mardi Gras throws to plastic recycling centers around the world.
Through this unprecedented program, the city was able to generate over $450 billion dollars in excess revenue. In addition to funding every single street repair project across Orleans Parish, the extra income will be also used to fix every issue our great city faces.
Today's press conference was held at the intersection of Louisville & Bragg in Lakeview, the former home of an epic pothole known as "Flamingo Volcano." City officials were clearly happy that this project has finally come to a close.
"It's done." said Seemore Craters, New Orleans city pothole czar and exhausted 311 operator. Clearly agitated, Craters added, "Please stop calling me about these potholes, I've got fishing to do!"
Fix My Streets, the group formed in spring 2014 to raise awareness of New Orleans' citizens' frustration over a lack of a long term street repair plan, didn't appear to be very happy.
"Clearly, this is a big April Fools day joke, and Fleur De Lis is still one of the worst streets in the city of New Orleans... Actually, most neighborhoods in Orleans Parish are still a giant mess. There is a looooooooo... *ahem*.... oooooooong way to go before we can claim a victory over this epic problem."